Gallows Humor

Last words of executed murderers:

• George Appel (1928): “Well, folks, you’ll soon see a baked Appel.”
• James W. Rodgers (1960): (asked for a last request) “Why, yes — a bulletproof vest.”
• Frederick Wood (1963): “Gentlemen, you are about to see the effects of electricity upon Wood.”
• James French (1966): “I have a terrific headline for you in the morning: ‘French Fries’.”
• Jimmy Glass (1987): “I’d rather be fishing.”

In 1856, English murderer William Palmer stood on the gallows and asked, “Are you sure it’s safe?”

-http://www.futilitycloset.com/2010/07/21/black-humor-2/

It's like The Happening crossed with a typical over-done genre.

The opposite of a vampire: plants. Because they like sunlight. 

In a fight, the vampires' only hope is Bunnicula.

The Real Problem With The Internet

I'm here today to talk to you about The Real Problem With The Internet.

It has to do with the phrase ".com", used to signify the domain of a web address. And the problem begins when ending a sentence with this phrase. You see, all sentences end with a period, saving those rare funky ones that end in an "!" or a "?". So, the Real Problem is this: All sentences look weird when ended with the webaddress.com.

SEE?!

".com." has two dots in it. This, to my highly trained eye, looks lame. It looks confusing. It looks unprofessional.

I noticed this when typing the first sentence of my latest post about my book, Quarter Moon. I ended up solving this by adding a slightly ungrammatical bit so that I didn't have to end it with a period, but segued into the web address instead.

But still.

It'll bring about the end of the internet, the universe, and everything through it's power to obfuscate and destroy brains, you wait and see.