The Toughest Tongue Twister Ever

“The seething sea ceaseth and thus the seething sea sufficeth us.”

A Comedy Schematic

I just watched the 2002 film version of The Importance of Being Earnest, which is one of the cleverest plays I've ever seen. It got me thinking about the particular group of period-piece comedies into which it falls. Other stories in this group include Gilbert and Sullivan's works, Moliere's The Miser, most Shakespeare comedies, a lot of Saki's short stories, some O Henry stories, and anything written by PG Wodehouse.

Within this group, there are a lot of similar themes and elements. I've figured out several lists detailing them.


Story elements:


Bets
Blackmail
Duels
Family pride
Love triangles
Matchmaking
Mis-mailed letter(s)
Mistaken identity
New-found inheritance

Political corruption

Social Hierarchy

Relationships:

Two relationships can be given per character, so that the second can be revealed in order to move the plot along during the 2nd or 3rd act.

Aunt/Uncle

  -overbearing, doting, cool

Boss

Butler

Cousin

Father/Mother

  -step-, foster

Fiancée

  -secret, arranged, normal

Friend

Husband/wife

Nanny

Old military buddy

Old school chum

An optional list is that of the possible supernatural elements. These change the nature of the story, making it even less realistic than it already was, so they should be handled with care. Also, it's a short list, since there aren't many supernatural things that constantly come up in witty comedies.

Supernatural Elements:

Deities

  -benevolent, malevolent, pranking

Ghosts

  -advice-dispensing, task-requiring

Love potions

My last list is of the elements that are more or less completely essential to this type of story. I saved it for last because these ones are pretty intuitive, and shouldn't need as much attention as the others when one constructs the story. They're just helpful to have in mind.

Essentials:

Intellectual exchanges of wit 

Lies

A happy ending

Using these lists, one can compose a plot. Mix and match three or four story elements, pick out some good relationships for the characters, and then make a plot that works off of each one. If one can make most of the plot elements intertwine with each other, it will work well. 

A good technique is to choose one of the story elements to center the entire plot on, and weave the others around it, since this makes the story cohesive. Give the characters unrealistic priories, like family pride or a bet over one's life, since this opens up a lot of story possibilities that wouldn't actually exist in real life, and makes the story funnier.

You'll have to come up with the wit by yourself. Originality is one thing I can't help you with.

Hu-Wen

Here's a skit I composed about the governmental system in China, as mentioned a few posts down. 

Well, here we are in China. It's about time to start sight-seeing, but first, maybe you can educate me on China's government system. 

Sure thing, buddy.

What I want to know is, who's the President of China?

That's right.

What? I'm asking about the President.

Hu?

The President of China.

Hu.

The guy in charge.

Hu!

That's what I want to know!

I'm telling you, the man's name is Hu.

What's the man's name?

No, Hu's the man's name.

.... Who is the man's name?

That's right!

No, it's not. That's terrible grammar. You don't say "Who is the man's name", you say "What's the man's name". Now, what's the man's name?

It's Hu.

No, it's "what".

You think his name is what?

I don't know what his name is, that why I'm asking you!

Well, now, there's no need to get riled up like that. The President isn't the only important figure, you know. If you don't like his name, there are others.

Like who?

Yes, just like Hu.

What?

No, there's nobody like What. I don't even know where that came from.

Who's what?

No, he's not! That's what I'm trying to tell you!

Who's getting riled up now?

Is he? I wouldn't know.

Look, what were you saying about other people? There are other officials you can tell me about?

Yes. For instance, the Prime Minister?

What's his name?

Wen.

... What's his name right now?

Wen.

This very moment.

Wen!

Has he ever changed his name?

No.

So he's always had the same name?

Yes.

What is it?

Wen.

Right now!

Wen.

Who's the Prime Minister?!

No, he's the President!

What?

Hu.

Who?

Right!

What?

No!

What?

No!

What?!

I don't even know who What is, but Hu's the president and Wen's the Prime Minister.

When is the Prime Minister what?

He's never What! No one's What. He's when.

When what?

I don't know his given name, I'm afraid. Just the surname.

Which is... what?

I don't think you've learned anything here.

Look, never mind. I give up. You don't need to try to tell me about the government.

Well, alright. Maybe later we can talk about what's what.

I don't even know how this guy "What" showed up. What's he got to do with anything?

I don't know. You brought him up.

Did not... when?

What about him?

Who?

He's the President.

Who?

Now you've got it. You'll understand the Hu-Wen Administration yet!

The what?

The Hu-Wen Administration.

Well, if you don't know those basic concepts like who and when, it's no wonder we never got anywhere.

Tell you what; let's calm down over dinner. I want to try out my wok.

Your what?

My wok. It's a versatile round-bottomed cooking vessel. It's Chinese. 

So in this government it's a Hu-Wen wok?

Well... you could say that.

I don't think I will. Let's eat.

Wit

I'm interested in wit. In my opinion, it's the clearest and probably best way to show one's level of intelligence. However, after looking over the work of greatest wits of history, I've noticed some patterns. These can all be summed up into one point: wit is word-based.

The usual witticism will convey two elements. First, either a deep philosophical statement, or an insult of some sort. Second, a completely unrelated play on words. 

For example, the great wit Oscar Wilde has been attributed the quote, "There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about." The philosophical point is that Wilde would rather be infamous then unknown, and the wordplay is that he used a seeming contradiction of words to say so. 

As another example, Churchill has been said to have been invited to a play with "Bring a friend...if you have one" and replying with something alone the lines of "I have a previous engagement, but I'll gladly attend your second night...if you have one." Or maybe it was someone else who said it. I don't care, since it's beside the point. The joke follows the same pattern as most other wit: It has a insightful or insulting comment (and this time it's an insult) made funny by wordplay (parallel construction this time). 

I've always thought that wordplay was a bit of a shallow way to be witty, since it's usually pretty easy. But after looking through the different wits, from Whistler to Twain to Marx (just kidding, I meant Marx), wordplay was just about the only thing they could use. 

As a corollary, this explains why puns are disliked so much. Since they try to play on words, but tend to be unimpressive, they are the one form of joke that has the highest aspirations but goes the least towards reaching them. I still like them anyway. Probably because they're the underdog.

An exercise in intelligence

Click this link, read the bolded sentence and ponder it for a while.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/world/europe/10333211.stm

Clue: an addendum

I just remembered an amusing anecdote related to the poem from my last post. 


When I originally showed it to Evan, he wasn't very gung-ho about it. In fact, being the straight-forward guy that he is, he was clear to tell me that it was pretty lame. I was surprised and disappointed at this, since, like I said, it's my personal favorite of the poems I've written. However, after I questioned him for a while, I discovered why he didn't like it: he didn't realize that it was based off of the game Clue. Apparently, he's never played it or even heard of it. 


I was very (0.o) about this turn of events, as I'm pretty sure that Clue is one of the most famous board games ever. It's at least in the top ten, below Monopoly but above Scrabble. I guess Chess and Checkers are probably at the top... but I digress. After I explained to Evan what Clue was, he grudgingly admitted that my poem was a bit funnier in context. Still, I suspect that his lack of enthusiasm has greatly slowed the process of transition from poem to song. Hopefully, I can twist his arm a bit when summer comes along, and he doesn't have as much work.

Uh huh, Sure

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Jinx

Who else thinks it would be really funny to go up to a group of people and say, "Hey, what's that phrase that you say after two people say the same thing at the same time?"

After everyone answers, you can yell "Double Jinx!" and get cokes from everyone.

C-c-cold

Tonight, I felt a little sick, and so drove home from church before the evening service. I discovered once I got back home that I did not have my key to the house with me.

Now, on one occasion in the past, when the rest of my family locked me out of the house, I have managed to  brake into it. (... Yeah, that's right, I drove right towards it, and then put on the brakes as I smashed into the side of the house. >< Darn spelling mistakes... Anyway...) The most successful method is to climb from our second-story porch onto the roof, and walk along it to the third-story window, which is usually unlocked. Sadly, that window was not unlocked today.

So I ended up on the roof in the dark, having just come to the realization that I was trapped outside the house for the next two hours. Also, it was raining. And I was in my good Sunday clothes, which aren't the best for climbing up roofs in. And I mentioned I was sick, right? And... on the roof?

I managed to climb down, which coincidentally is a bit tougher than climbing up, and I had to sit in my car until my family got back. On the bright side, it was kinda spooky to sit in the car at night, so I had fun. And I read a lot of The Grapes of Wrath. But it did get increasingly colder in the car, and I don't have a whole lot of body fat to protect me in the first place. I appreciate being warm much better right. And I'm feeling less sick. Maybe I killed my virus.