Hundred Dollar Bill

   I just had an interesting experience... Yesterday, while studying for my research paper on tricksters in folklore, I found an African American tale about a guy who kept a one hundred dollar bill in his pocket solely so that he could offer it to pay for a 50 cent haircut. When the barber couldn't give him change for a hundred bucks, the guy would get away without paying anything since it was technically the barber who couldn't pay.
   Then, today, I attended a swing dance that cost a dollar at the door. All I had was a twenty, and the cashier couldn't change it, so he let me in free. The trick works in real life!

Rutland

For many years Rutland was the smallest county in England, being only 152 square miles. In April 1974, owing to an appalling planning blunder on the part of the British government, it literally ceased to exist. shortly afterwards Sir Nat Kosher realized the enormous tax benefits of broadcasting from somewhere which didn't legally exist and formed Rutland Weekend Television, Britain's smallest TV station. From its very first broadcast RWTV was greeted with praise from Accountants and Taxation Experts in every walk of life.

--The Rutland Dirty Weekend Book, Eyre Methuen Ltd., 1976

Lottery

Lottery! That's what it is. Not a death drawing, a death lottery. Death drawing does have a bit of a ring to it, though. Nice alliteration. Probably draws the folks in like crazy.

The above paragraph came to me late last night. Earlier, I'd had one of those annoying moments when you can't find the right word. I'd picked 'drawing' to describe a situation in which everyone draws papers to see who dies, but everyone knows that's always called a death lottery, never a death drawing. Google it; you'll see I'm right.

My roommate wasn't there to hear me muttering to myself. I would say that was a narrow escape from alienation, but considering I engaged in a nerf gun fight while pretending to be a zombified Moriarty to his Sherlock Holmes the other week, he already knows how weird I am and is fine with it.

Bucket List

Here are a few things that I genuinely want to, and feel as if I stand a good chance of getting to, accomplish in my life. It's most definitely not exhaustive, and I'll probably add more.


1. Get a small tattoo of the word "GULLIBLE" somewhere discrete, such as a shoulder.

2. Get a pet tarantula.

It's true because it's true

Tapeworm Test

I just found a quiz online that lets you figure out how many tapeworms your body can support.

http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/tapeworm_host

I can only support one. :(

Freckles and Life

"Today, in science class, we were discussing genetics, and how two different traits can both appear within someone, like a black-and-white speckled rooster. I thought of how awesome it would be if there were speckled people with polka dots on their faces. I then remembered freckles. MLIA."


The above MLIA is actually pretty interesting if you think about it. How many things exist in normal life that we would think were really cool or abnormal or strange if we hadn't grown up in a world that had always had those things? The answer is pretty much everything, from gravity to cars to feet to oxygen. It only changes depending on your prospective. So the next time you step out the door, think to yourself that not only is the world just as completely and utterly mind-bogglingly, jaw-droppingly awesome as it is boringly normal and dull, but it's also both at the same time. 

Phenormenon

is the word that I have coined to refer to people who are proud of the fact that they are weird. I often find such people annoying, as they usually aren't very weird. They are also usually tweenage girls.

A Follow Up on "Irony Abounds"

Actually, I can't think of any jackalopes that I know that are majestic. Jackalopes are just not majestic.