Friday, September 9, 2011

Newswriting exercise

The Assignment:

To reformat the opening of a newspaper article so that it's less clunky; punchier.

The Opening: 

"Maria Ramero, 23, of 154 East Lansing Blvd., in Riverdale, and her daughter, Jessica Ramero, 4, of the same address, were killed when their car collided with a milk truck at 4:13 p.m. at the corner of Wayne and First streets at Riverdale yesterday."

My Answers:

"Milk isn't always good for your bones. Maria Ramero, 23, and her young daughter were killed early this morning by a renegade milk truck."

"Got milk? A Riverdale mother and her four-year-old daughter wish they hadn't."

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