Showing posts with label well *I* think it's funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label well *I* think it's funny. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A joke

Q: How do you confuse a blond?

A: Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.




Friday, August 6, 2010

Hu-Wen

Here's a skit I composed about the governmental system in China, as mentioned a few posts down. 





Well, here we are in China. It's about time to start sight-seeing, but first, maybe you can educate me on China's government system. 


Sure thing, buddy.


What I want to know is, who's the President of China?


That's right.


What? I'm asking about the President.


Hu?


The President of China.


Hu.

The guy in charge.


Hu!


That's what I want to know!


I'm telling you, the man's name is Hu.


What's the man's name?


No, Hu's the man's name.

.... Who is the man's name?


That's right!


No, it's not. That's terrible grammar. You don't say "Who is the man's name", you say "What's the man's name". Now, what's the man's name?


It's Hu.


No, it's "what".


You think his name is what?


I don't know what his name is, that why I'm asking you!

Well, now, there's no need to get riled up like that. The President isn't the only important figure, you know. If you don't like his name, there are others.


Like who?


Yes, just like Hu.


What?


No, there's nobody like What. I don't even know where that came from.


Who's what?


No, he's not! That's what I'm trying to tell you!


Who's getting riled up now?


Is he? I wouldn't know.


Look, what were you saying about other people? There are other officials you can tell me about?


Yes. For instance, the Prime Minister?


What's his name?


Wen.


... What's his name right now?


Wen.


This very moment.


Wen!


Has he ever changed his name?


No.


So he's always had the same name?


Yes.


What is it?


Wen.

Right now!


Wen.


Who's the Prime Minister?!


No, he's the President!


What?


Hu.


Who?


Right!


What?


No!


What?


No!


What?!


I don't even know who What is, but Hu's the president and Wen's the Prime Minister.


When is the Prime Minister what?


He's never What! No one's What. He's when.


When what?


I don't know his given name, I'm afraid. Just the surname.


Which is... what?


I don't think you've learned anything here.


Look, never mind. I give up. You don't need to try to tell me about the government.


Well, alright. Maybe later we can talk about what's what.


I don't even know how this guy "What" showed up. What's he got to do with anything?


I don't know. You brought him up.


Did not... when?

What about him?


Who?


He's the President.


Who?


Now you've got it. You'll understand the Hu-Wen Administration yet!


The what?


The Hu-Wen Administration.


Well, if you don't know those basic concepts like who and when, it's no wonder we never got anywhere.

Tell you what; let's calm down over dinner. I want to try out my wok.


Your what?

My wok. It's a versatile round-bottomed cooking vessel. It's Chinese. 

So in this government it's a Hu-Wen wok?

Well... you could say that.

I don't think I will. Let's eat.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Lollipops

How come people will share a lollipop but not any other candy that's already been in their mouths? Taking a couple chews of used gum should be about the same as taking a lick of someone else's lollipop. Or do germs disappear if you wave them around on a stick?

My point is not, as one might believe, to point out that people shouldn't share lollipops. I just want to be able to chew used gum.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Wind farms

I think it would be very funny to tell little kids that all wind is created by wind farms. You know, those long rows of giant windmills on rural hilltops. They spin around and generate the wind that goes all over the world.

Then you could wait and see how long it took them to realize that it wasn't true. You could even measure it against other things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

For Example

I just posted a status of "If no news is good news, what does that make good news?" on Facebook.

I then proceeded to delete any comments made on it.



Also, this blog title won't make sense for a while. Be patient.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Maybe This One

One aspect of my blog is the little clickable check boxes under each post. I customized them to give "dumb", "odd but cool", and "42" as the options for "other ppl's yodelin". (I had to use the abbreviation in order to fit "yodelin" into the word limit. I think we all know that yodeling is more important than proper spelling.) 

Anyway, people hardly ever click on them, and sometimes I have a hard time telling if they have, since I sometimes randomly click them myself. 

Also, none of the information you have just read matters in the slightest, but that is the point of a blog.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Uh huh, Sure

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Crossovers?

You know how there are different mash-ups of movie quotes online? Someone takes two movies and puts the dialogue of one with the theme of the other in a funny way. Here's an example. http://mollyringwraith.livejournal.com/44608.html


I think it would be even better to have crossovers with the same movie. You could have stuff like:


 "Stop rhyming now! I'm serious!"
 "Anybody want a peanut?"
 "Ha! You fool! I switched words when your back was turned!"