Uprooting
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If, fair reader, you happen upon this, you may learn to find me here.
https://ladyjwhimsy.wordpress.com/
11 years ago
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tapeworm Test
I just found a quiz online that lets you figure out how many tapeworms your body can support.
http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/tapeworm_host
I can only support one. :(
http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/tapeworm_host
I can only support one. :(
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The Third Blog
Now I have another blog. This one is in order to help me pick up the pace on writing the novel that I made my New Year's Resolution about over on this post. Since I need to finish the novel, and I'm not even half of the way through, I thought a little peer pressure would help me along. It works well for NaNoWriMo, so it should work here.
http://newgroundport.blogspot.com/
My blog updates once a week, every Monday. I made it available only to people that I invite, both so that every nut out there with a copy-and-paste button on his computer won't be able to steal it, and so that any future publishers won't consider it previously published. I've already sent invitations to everyone who's following me. Except Will Hall. Sorry, Will, I don't have your email... If you, anyone else who reads this blog, or anyone whom any of you know would appreciate my writing wants an invitation, just ask me.
http://newgroundport.blogspot.com/
My blog updates once a week, every Monday. I made it available only to people that I invite, both so that every nut out there with a copy-and-paste button on his computer won't be able to steal it, and so that any future publishers won't consider it previously published. I've already sent invitations to everyone who's following me. Except Will Hall. Sorry, Will, I don't have your email... If you, anyone else who reads this blog, or anyone whom any of you know would appreciate my writing wants an invitation, just ask me.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Self-referencing
Today, I shall impart to all you readers a word of wisdom regarding humor. Specifically, it's a commonly used and formulaic type of joke which is easy to come up with, but makes the joke-teller appear witty and, therefore, intelligent.
I called it the self-referencing joke.
To use it, the joke-teller will have to be listening to a conversation about some topic. This is fairly easy, as most conversations involve topics. However, once the appropriate topic swings around, the joke-teller will then introduce that subject into the conversation while talking about the same subject. Since you probably didn't understand quite what I meant, there, I'll give examples: When discussing sarcasm, the joker could say, "Oh, sarcasm is soooo funny". When talking about repetition, he could say, "I don't repeat things. I don't repeat things." So the conversation becomes self-referencing because the subject being discussed was also used within the conversation.
This doesn't work with some subjects, like 'elephants', which can't be incorporated into a conversation unless you happen to have a spare in your pocket. Which would make it a surreal joke as well as self-referencing. Common subjects also won't work, since they aren't funny, so don't try 'joking' or 'talking' ("Hey, everybody, looks like we're just talking! ... Get it? ")
I think that people find this funny because they have to think about it for a second before they can put two and two together. This also makes the joke-teller seem intelligent, even though it's a bit easier to implement the mechanics behind a self-referencing joke then it is to understand it.
Personally, I don't think that they're very funny. Anybody can understand how they work, and once they do, the joke becomes predictable. Predictability is the bane of humor. Remember, this joke was originally funny because it was required thinking. It gave the brain a double-take. But someone who recognizes how they work can guess when they're going to be used almost before the joker opens his mouth. There are a few clever ways to do it ("Hey, everybody, I'm telling a self-referencing joke right now!"), so I don't categorically hate it. But the simpler form of the joke still pretty dumb. That said, I make that type of joke fairly often. After all, most people do think that it's clever, and it tends to slip off the tongue easily, probably because it's so easy to predict. But I'm trying to cut back on it. Can't have people thinking I'm intelligent unless they have due cause.
Post Scriptum: To those of you wondering when the title of the blog post here would, as promised in the tiny white text at the bottom of the post, make sense: The post was an example of self-referencing. I had hoped to write this post sooner, so that it would be closer to that one, but it was not to be. Oh well. I like it a bit better this way.... it makes my blog seem layered. Yay!
I called it the self-referencing joke.
To use it, the joke-teller will have to be listening to a conversation about some topic. This is fairly easy, as most conversations involve topics. However, once the appropriate topic swings around, the joke-teller will then introduce that subject into the conversation while talking about the same subject. Since you probably didn't understand quite what I meant, there, I'll give examples: When discussing sarcasm, the joker could say, "Oh, sarcasm is soooo funny". When talking about repetition, he could say, "I don't repeat things. I don't repeat things." So the conversation becomes self-referencing because the subject being discussed was also used within the conversation.
This doesn't work with some subjects, like 'elephants', which can't be incorporated into a conversation unless you happen to have a spare in your pocket. Which would make it a surreal joke as well as self-referencing. Common subjects also won't work, since they aren't funny, so don't try 'joking' or 'talking' ("Hey, everybody, looks like we're just talking! ... Get it? ")
I think that people find this funny because they have to think about it for a second before they can put two and two together. This also makes the joke-teller seem intelligent, even though it's a bit easier to implement the mechanics behind a self-referencing joke then it is to understand it.
Personally, I don't think that they're very funny. Anybody can understand how they work, and once they do, the joke becomes predictable. Predictability is the bane of humor. Remember, this joke was originally funny because it was required thinking. It gave the brain a double-take. But someone who recognizes how they work can guess when they're going to be used almost before the joker opens his mouth. There are a few clever ways to do it ("Hey, everybody, I'm telling a self-referencing joke right now!"), so I don't categorically hate it. But the simpler form of the joke still pretty dumb. That said, I make that type of joke fairly often. After all, most people do think that it's clever, and it tends to slip off the tongue easily, probably because it's so easy to predict. But I'm trying to cut back on it. Can't have people thinking I'm intelligent unless they have due cause.
Post Scriptum: To those of you wondering when the title of the blog post here would, as promised in the tiny white text at the bottom of the post, make sense: The post was an example of self-referencing. I had hoped to write this post sooner, so that it would be closer to that one, but it was not to be. Oh well. I like it a bit better this way.... it makes my blog seem layered. Yay!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Adventures in Babysitting
Today, I babysat several kids for my once-a-month volunteer work at Vision House, a non-profit organization for homeless single moms and their kids.
At one point, fairly early on, one of the kids suddenly stood up with an expression of mild shock on his face, and said "Where's my mommy?" Since this is both a common occurrence and something that can easily escalate into a river of tears and mucus, I decided to put a stop to it. "Here's your mommy," I told him, holding up a little plastic muffin.
To my surprise, he took it, saying happily to himself, "It's my mommy!" This cheered me considerably. I wish all toddlers could be pacified with plastic muffins. The world would be a quieter place.
At one point, fairly early on, one of the kids suddenly stood up with an expression of mild shock on his face, and said "Where's my mommy?" Since this is both a common occurrence and something that can easily escalate into a river of tears and mucus, I decided to put a stop to it. "Here's your mommy," I told him, holding up a little plastic muffin.
To my surprise, he took it, saying happily to himself, "It's my mommy!" This cheered me considerably. I wish all toddlers could be pacified with plastic muffins. The world would be a quieter place.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Time-traveling
The concept of traveling through time is an endless source of ideas to me. There are just so many different ways to play around with it. Today, I came up with a new one. Here's the transcription from the note that I took on the bus today.
A human gene travels backwards in time. Therefore, people can get it at birth without cause, as long as they randomly marry each other in the future so that their kids can give them the gene. Also, it should mutate quickly and degenerate quickly, so that it will menace the world within a few generations. In order to stop it, our heroes must create it so that it won't exist anymore.
Sadly, it's only a concept, not a story plot, but it's entertaining enough to make me giggle. I should be able to come up with a plot to go with it soon.
A human gene travels backwards in time. Therefore, people can get it at birth without cause, as long as they randomly marry each other in the future so that their kids can give them the gene. Also, it should mutate quickly and degenerate quickly, so that it will menace the world within a few generations. In order to stop it, our heroes must create it so that it won't exist anymore.
Sadly, it's only a concept, not a story plot, but it's entertaining enough to make me giggle. I should be able to come up with a plot to go with it soon.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Cupressaceae
Is there a cooler word than "Hypnotoxin"? It's like two edgy and mysterious-sounding words slapped together.
I guess Hoodle is a pretty good word, too... And so's Kilomegacycle. There are just a large amount of cool obscure words in the world.
I guess Hoodle is a pretty good word, too... And so's Kilomegacycle. There are just a large amount of cool obscure words in the world.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Facebooking
A while back, I found a random message online. If I remember correctly, it had been created by a computer, which was trying to replicate a human being. It came out sounding like a very strange, mostly likely drunk, person. I liked the email a lot, and since it was addressed to a "Jordon", I decided to post it on the Facebook wall of a friend of mine with the same name. One of my close friends, Evan, then proceeded to post a comment that continued the same style of unhinged, pointless writing. We then made a thirty-something long conversation in that style. I have reproduced it below for your viewing enjoyment.
Adam: Hello Jordan!
Adam: Hello Jordan!
They come of their own free will. Imagine my horror! I'll have some news for the boy. Golz said it could be. There are your pension papers. She must have alluded to her father.Again I fought for breath. We'll weather it yet between them. I'll tell her. That's why I pushed you into him. It will probably never be accounted for. There was little mistaking its meaning. Zane caught himself. There were some honest misguided people. Nothing could hurt him.His eyes were friendly too. Then came the geyser. I'll keep space up to midnight. It was a Fascist Patrol coming home. Reginald Bell began to act. The old man was right. You have no need to fear. But it did no good. What is the matter?What did you write? He could not afford to choose randomly. There were definite limits. Maybe it is ugly. We are all thy family. He opened the door and walked in. Cut it out and take it. What can they be? Zane's eye traveled around the room.
Adam
This is as it should be. Never say that it won't.
06 November 2009 at 22:34 ·
06 November 2009 at 22:42
06 November 2009 at 22:55 ·
Evan
Could it be, that after all this, she was alone by my hand? Tense, afraid, and never more ready to let myself fall...
06 November 2009 at 22:55
06 November 2009 at 22:59 ·
Evan
Tick tock! There never was such a place that could stop the widening of the gorge or seperation. Thee and thy, were the structures in my mind, the words! I longed for the moonlight to feel me again.
06 November 2009 at 23:06
Evan
I could have sworn I knew the answer. But that was then. Was the doorway really open? The puzzle pieces were all I needed to see why I was the victim and the murder, roped and wrapped into one solitary shard.
06 November 2009 at 23:11
Adam
...and then, I remembered her face, her touch...and when I remembered her name, why! Then, I felt entrapped, a statue in the sands of time. I remembered what I had always called her by, every night...
06 November 2009 at 23:18 ·
Thursday, March 4, 2010
World's hardest riddle?
I came across this self-described "World's Hardest Riddle" today:
I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?
Naturally, being a curious guy, I thought about it for a minute and then googled it. There were some good-sounding answers, like "time" or "pressure", but this was my favorite answer:
the ANSWER MUST BE PONIES, IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT FITS
Everyone knows that ponies paint the polar bears white
Ponies make you cry if they stand on you
Ponies make boys have to pee after they have gone for a long ride
Ponies make girls comb their hair because when they were little they had my little ponies and they would always comb their hair, so now they just comb their own hair
Ponies make celebrities look stupid when they fall on them
Normal people look like celebrities when they ride round on ponies in downtown LA, coz only a celebrity would have a pony in downtown LA
Ponies make pancakes turn brown because they dont like them green
Ponies make champagne bubble by the complex process of carbonation (please refer to wikipedia for more details)
If you squeeze a pony with two bulldozers, it will pop
If you look at a pony the wrong way, they will sit on you, and make you pop.
My best guess is that the answer to the riddle is "no".
I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?
Naturally, being a curious guy, I thought about it for a minute and then googled it. There were some good-sounding answers, like "time" or "pressure", but this was my favorite answer:
the ANSWER MUST BE PONIES, IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT FITS
Everyone knows that ponies paint the polar bears white
Ponies make you cry if they stand on you
Ponies make boys have to pee after they have gone for a long ride
Ponies make girls comb their hair because when they were little they had my little ponies and they would always comb their hair, so now they just comb their own hair
Ponies make celebrities look stupid when they fall on them
Normal people look like celebrities when they ride round on ponies in downtown LA, coz only a celebrity would have a pony in downtown LA
Ponies make pancakes turn brown because they dont like them green
Ponies make champagne bubble by the complex process of carbonation (please refer to wikipedia for more details)
If you squeeze a pony with two bulldozers, it will pop
If you look at a pony the wrong way, they will sit on you, and make you pop.
My best guess is that the answer to the riddle is "no".
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The 29th
Why don't they call the other three years "leap" years? After all, those are the years that we get to leap over the 29th day of February.
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