Friday, November 27, 2009

Pirates vs. Ninja

You may have heard about the age old dispute that the ninja have against their natural enemy, the pirates. If not, it's an internet thing.

Here I have laid out a few of the basic facts about them.

Pirates: Are pluralized with an S, just like most nouns.

Ninja: Can be pluralized with either an S or be simply staying the same.

Edge: Ninja. And they get +5 awesome points as well.

Pirates: Have their own holiday, National Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Ninja: Keep their holiday private, yet invisibly written on everyone's calendar. No one knows when it is.

Edge: Tough to say. Holidays are better if you know about them, and funny accents are cool, so I say pirates win this one.

Pirates: Have their own language on Facebook. It's called "English (Pirate)" on the drop down menu.

Ninja: Have no Facebook recognition.

Edge: Pirates. Duh.

Pirates: Have Jack Sparrow.

Ninja: Have Naruto.

Edge: Pirates. And it's 'Captain' Jack Sparrow.

Pirates: Fight using a combination of skill, luck, and dirty tricks.

Ninja: Fight using highly honed reflexes, with skill bordering on magical.

Edge: Ninja. Both styles are very cool, though.

Pirates: Drink too much.

Ninja: Train too much.

Edge: Ninja. Drinking too much is kinda lame. Training too much is often lame, but can be cool.

As you can see from this, it's a bit of a tie. Ninja are virtually unstoppable, though, so in a direct fight I would say that the ninja would win. Unless it was a fight with Captain Jack.


  1. If it was a fight with Captain Jack, he'd lose until the last moment when he'd accidentally bumble his way into a victory. Admit it.

  2. But that's why he's cooler.

    Also, he'd use a few dirty tricks to momentarily get ahead in the middle.